Claire Kilroy

“How are you?” my friend asked then, and not in a casual way, not as a variation of hello but as a considered enquiry into my well-being inviting a considered response. His manner of emphasising certain words: How are you? It was such a lovely way he had, that ability of his to compress fondness into his voice. Some people have these qualities. Be one of them, Sailor. Have I told you this before? It bears repeating.
“How are you?” I could feel his eyes on me.
I am tired. I am lonely. I have found myself mired in resentment in this new life, become a person I don’t wish to be, feeling constant guilt for not feeling constant gratitude for the blessing that is my child. I do feel constant gratitude: I adore my child. But I am tired. I am lonely. I am lost.
“Ah, you know”, I shrugged. “How about you?”
He shrugged back. “Same.”