Things the grandchildren should know

I like your beard? That's what I said to Neil Young. This was oe of my first lessons about meeting my heroes. Avoid it when possible, because I have a social dysfunction when I just get too nervous and say something crazy.

“Sure, I'm a weirdo in some ways. I don't like going to parties and show, I hide in my house a lot. But, all things considered, it could be a lot worse. And I'm able to get myself to this show, at least. I become aware of a feeling that has been slowly creeping in under my skin for a few years, but now has become more tangible. I'd been through a lot - I'm OK. And if I want to be, I'm better than OK. I'm certainly not the most well-adjusted person on earth, but considering everything ... I mean - I survived. And I survived just by being me. How lucky and amazing is that?”

Historically speaking, if I was in a room and there was someone in that room who could make my life an utter hell on earth, I would find that person, hope they would engage me in conversation, feel like I'd found the lost piece to my puzzle, see pictures in my head of us waking up together, our children, our adjoining burial spots fifty years down the line and I'd truly believe that it was all for the best. For some reasons, God made the women I'm attracted to crazy. But since I don't believe in God, then I guess it's just a fact of life that probably has more than a little to do with my upbringing. People I worked with even used to refer to certain kinds of women as "E girls". That's how bad it was.

One thing you'll notice about people with mental problems is the constant self-absorption. I think that's because it's such a struggle just to BE who they are, so they have a hard time getting past it. I am no exception to this rule.

Bob Dylan said that, when he was young, he had a secret sense of his destiny. I wish I had something like that, but I didn't. At all. All i had was an aching sense of desperation and an acute cluelessness - a nasty combination.

So what kind of an ego do you have to have to write a book about your life and expect anyone to care? A huge one! But not so big that I think I was created in God's image. Unless God is a hairy ectomorph with bad posture.

Thanks to my ridiculous, sometimes tragic and always unsteady upbringing, I was given the gift of bone-crushing insecurity.

“Thanks to my ridiculous, sometimes tragic, and always unsteady upbringing, I was given the gift of bone-crushing insecurity. One thing you’ll notice about people with mental problems is constant self-absorbation. I think that’s because it’s such a struggle just to be who they are, so they have a hard time getting past it.”

“Maybe I don't like people as much as the rest of the world seems to...But occasionally, people will pleasantly surprise me and I'll fall in love with them, so go figure.”

“Life is so full of unpredictable beauty and strange surprises. Sometimes that beauty is too much for me to handle. Do you know that feeling? When something is just too beautiful? When someone says something or writes something or plays something that moves you to the point of tears, maybe even changes you.”