John Koenig

Such is the blessing and the curse of being an adult. Life is certainly richer than it was when you were a kid, and it's a tremendous feeling to know that you're beholden to no one. But life is not nearly as fun as it once was, in part because now you're on the hook for it. By this point you know all to well that you'll have to pay for whatever silly little things you do, even though the cost is rarely clear ahead of time. It's like shopping in a store without price tags. You think you have a pretty good idea what things cost, but then you start to wonder if you might've been guessing wrong, unwittingly building up a dept you'll have to pay back for years. (...)
Still, there's a part of you that longs to be free to do as you please, without having to carry the burden of freedom. (...) That's why you feel mysteriously drawn toward certain situations that just happen to let you off the hook. Perhaps you lean on deadlines to force your hand at the last minute, or put everyone else's desires before your own. You might be tempted to define yourself by victimhood or self-diagnosis, as if all your flaws were merely symptoms of some huge systemic problem outside your control. Maybe you lose yourself in work or play or drunkenness, or surrender to the arbitrary dictates of your own moods. Perhaps you have a habit of dreaming of epic tales and cosmic forces, as if worldly concerns don't really matter. Or you simply try to do as little as possible, thinking it's safer than having to choose. There are million different excuses for why your choices were never really your own, and why your mistakes aren't technically mistakes. But sooner or later, the dept must be paid.