[...] but the last couple of days I've missed you so much it's felt like missing you is all I am.
Like if someone looked inside me, there wouldn't be a skeleton and muscles and blood and nerves.There'd just be memories of you and all the things I've tried to say and ripped out of this notebook, all the things I want to say but can't because I don't have the words.
I think about what Laurie said, about learning to be happy, and think that maybe - that maybe I can learn how to do that. How to be that.
Maybe.
Julia's still gone though. I still have to live with that. I still have to live without her.