Foz Meadows

Cae told himself, quite firmly, that he wasn't showing off. He'd often run combat patterns wearing nothing but his nara and a thin, almost translucent undershirt that was slightly too small, especially when it was warm out and he planned on working up a sweat, as was the case today. Nor was he choosing the most challenging patterns to follow just because they were visually impressive, either, he needed to keep his skill set sharp, and he had several days' worth of training to make up for. He was used to being watched as he trained, whether by the Aida's guards, the soldiers of his revetha or any other passersby who found him entertaining. Velasin, like Markel, was just another observer, and if Cae was acutely conscious of his attention as he swung and blocked, lunged and pivoted, that was nobody's business but his own.

He may have been showing off.

As we ate together, a strange sensation startled to bubble beneath my chest: a sort of fizzing lightness like champagne bubbles. Here were the two people I cared about most in all the world, grinning at each other and me as we shared a meal: a tiny pocket of joy in the midst of a turbulent world. The feeling reached out of me like tendrils, encompassing the prospect of Riya, Kivali and Liran's child; the friendship offered by Nairi and her soldiers, the growing bond between Markel and Ru Telitha. It almost felt familiar, but it wasn't until Caethari dropped a little sun on Markel's plate and urged him to try it, lighting up at the rapturous expression that crossed his face when he did so, that I realised what it was.

It felt like family.

It was hard enough, in Ralia, for men of my inclination and women, too, though I'd known far fewer of them to form relationships in the first place, such that it hurt all the more when they ended. Though our existence was not criminalised under crown law, as it was in Attovar, the Doctrine of the Firmament still held considerable power, casting our failure to embody "the order and symmetry of nature" as a degenerate perversion, and what the Doctrine taught, most people believed. Social sanctions could be every bit as effective as legal ones-more so, at times, as they could be justified by anything while being bound by nothing and among the nobility, social standing was everything.

"Am I understanding this correctly?" He raised a hand, counting the contradictions off on his fingers. "Velasin is Ralian, but indiscreet enough to get caught with his lover in his father's gardens. He doesn't want to marry me, but he's still in a hurry to get here. He's not a fighter, but he killed two bandits armed with a saints-forsaken pitchfork, of all the ridiculous things, and even though he spends all his time talking to a mute servant, none of you know what he's saying, because it's in signs." He made an exasperated noise and ran a hand down his face. "Can you tell me anything about the man that makes any degree of sense, or is he a walking mystery?"

All at once, Cae wanted to kiss him. He'd wanted to kiss him before now, multiple times, but in that moment, the strength of his longing all but knocked the breath from his lungs. It made him ache, to see the edges of Velasin's grief and not be able to smooth them away. He wanted to lean in, cup his cheek and stroke a thumb across the bone, wanted to tuck a loop of that soft, dark hair behind his ear and kiss him, over and over, until those beautiful gold-grey eyes were hooded with laughter, not sadness.

But he couldn't. He couldn't, because he'd promised Velasin safety and friendship, and kissing him played no part in that unless Velasin wanted it to.

For a moment, we simply looked at each other. The breathlessness I'd felt before was nothing to what I experienced now. I could feel my pulse in my throat, my tongue, every inch of my skin was sensitized Caethari's dark eyes were deep as wells, I saw his breath hitch, and I had one last moment in which to be achingly conscious of his beauty before he cupped my face with both hands, tilted my chin up and kissed me.

"Tiern Caethari. Do you swear to uphold this union with Velasin Averin vin Aaro, the product of mortal law and divine witness, in the spirit of peace and prosperity?"

"I do," said Cae, not daring to look at Velasin.

"Tiern Velasin. Do you swear to uphold this union with Caethari Xai Aeduria, the product of mortal law and divine witness, in the spirit of peace and prosperity?"

Velasin's voice was a rasp. "I do."

"Who are you?"

Inwardly, Cae sighed, outwardly, he straightened. "Tiern Caethari Aeduria," he said, softly. "Or Cae, if you like."

"Of course," said Velasin, shutting his eyes. "Of course you are." He laughed, the sound cracked and humourless. In Ralian, he said, "The moons are mocking me."

I will not lose you. Not to Killic, not to your father, and not to yourself. Not like this. You still have options, and even though they be risky, I will stand with you, whatever you choose.

But rest assured, making a spectacle of myself by kissing strange men at parties is one of my foremost skill sets.