Gerald Durrell

“Surely you're joking Theodore?' he protested. 'You mean to say that each snail is both a male and a female?'

'Yes indeed,' said Theodore, adding with masterly understatement, 'it's very curious.'

'Good God,' cried Larry. 'I think it's unfair. All those damned slimy things wandering about seducing each other like mad all over the bushes, and having the pleasures of both sensations. Why couldn't such a gift be given to the human race? That's what I want to know.”