Nationalité : États-Unis
Né(e) à : metairie , le 26/01/1958
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Né(e) à : metairie , le 26/01/1958
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Ellen Lee DeGeneres est une actrice, humoriste et animatrice de talk show américaine.
Ellen Lee DeGeneres est une actrice, humoriste et animatrice de talk show américaine.
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Ellen Degeneres parle de son livre "Seriously I'm kidding".
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Throughout my entire life, I have believed in these sentiments ;I've believed that true beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass. And then in 2008 I was finally able to throw all that hogwash out the window because I was named the new face of CoverGirl cosmetics! Take a bite out of that, world! Check out these cheekbones! I'm a beauty queen!
There's lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?
Each kind says it has something special in it for your skin-aloe, shea butter, coconut, cocoa butter, vanilla, lemon extract. That's not lotion. That's one ingredient short of a Bundt cake.
Each kind says it has something special in it for your skin-aloe, shea butter, coconut, cocoa butter, vanilla, lemon extract. That's not lotion. That's one ingredient short of a Bundt cake.
All kidding aside--actually, I change my mind. I don't want to put all kidding aside. I want the kidding right there in front where we all can see it. The main point of this book is kiddin. If I put all kidding aside, there would be nothing left but nonkidding, and believe me, that wouldn't make a very interesting book. So forget that: the kidding stays (or I go).
It's really bad if your birthday is actually on Christmas day. (Unless you're Jesus. In that case--what a party! By the way, if you are Jesus, thank you so much for buying this book. What an honor. Is there any way you'd give a quote for the paperback edition? I mean, who wouldn't buy it if Jesus recommended it on the back? I ask only because Oprah's Book Club ended and it would be a huge get, but you don't have to decide right now.)
People in commercials are happy all the time. Especially that woman in the shampoo commercial. She's too happy. I don't think our children should see people that happy on television. I fell for it, though--I bought the shampoo. I've got to tell you, I was shampooing for a good half hour...and I never got that happy. Finally I just had to fake it.
What's not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they're actually startled when the phone rings. It's like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.
Now we answer, "What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?"
"No, it's Becky. I just called to say hi."
"Well, you scared me half to death. You can't just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don't the tips of your fingers work?"
Now we answer, "What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?"
"No, it's Becky. I just called to say hi."
"Well, you scared me half to death. You can't just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don't the tips of your fingers work?"
The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations leat to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It's a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals. (For the record, I find musicals very unrealistic. If I suddenly turned to Portia and burst into a song about how we're out of orange juice, I don't think she would just immediately join in. I think she would be confused and concerned for me.)
There are a few things I wanted to include in this book but decided instead to save for my memoir. The following is a list of things you will not read about in this book :
- Details of my long-term relationship with Javier Bardem.
- My years spent in juvie.
- My early days as a pioneer of disco.
- My involvement with the Mili Vanilli lip-synching scandal of 1990.
- My recently discovered half-sister.
- the leaked sex tape.
- Details of my long-term relationship with Javier Bardem.
- My years spent in juvie.
- My early days as a pioneer of disco.
- My involvement with the Mili Vanilli lip-synching scandal of 1990.
- My recently discovered half-sister.
- the leaked sex tape.
"Oh, flight attendant. Oh, ma'am.'" You have to talk nice to the flight attendants because they're all arrogant little bitches. Unless, of course, you happen to be a flight attendant or are related to or are friends with one--then you are the absolutely lovely exceptions to this rule. But the rest of them, they have the attitude. And they can afford to have the attitude, because they have the power--they have the peanuts.
"Aunt Ellen, tell us a story." It's so cute when the kids from the neighborhood drop on by.
They just love to hear me spin a tale. It's either that or they love that I buy liquor for them no matter how young they are. You've got to learn to drink sometime, so it might as well be with someone you can trust.
"Please, Aunt Ellen, please tell us a story," Little Tori pleaded between sips of her Margarita.
They just love to hear me spin a tale. It's either that or they love that I buy liquor for them no matter how young they are. You've got to learn to drink sometime, so it might as well be with someone you can trust.
"Please, Aunt Ellen, please tell us a story," Little Tori pleaded between sips of her Margarita.
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