Joseph Kesselring

Mortimer : Don't do that Mr President
Teddy : I cannot sign any poclamation without consulting my cabinet.
Mortimer : But with must be a secret.
Teddy : A secret proclamation? How unusual!
Mortimer : Japan mustn"t know besore until its signed.
Teddy : Japan! Thoses yelow devils! I sign right away! [Taking the légall paper from Mortimer.]

Aunt Abby, aunt Martha, it's Jonathan.
Martha [frightenned] Get out of here.
Jonathan : [crossing to aunts.] I'm Jonathan- your nephew, Jonathan.
Abby : Oh no you're not. You're nothing like Jonathan, so don't prétend you're are. You just get out of here.
Jonathan [Crossing closer] But I am Jonathan. And this [poiinting Eistein] is Dr Einstein.
Abby : And is not Dr Einstein either.
Jonatha : Not Dr Albert Einstein- Dr Herman Einstein.

Martha : Wzll we were planing on holding services before dinner.
Mortimer : Services !
Martha : [A little indigned.] Certainly, you don't think that we burried Mr Hoskins without a full Methodiste service, do you? Why he was a méthodist.
Mortimer : But can he wait before I came back?

Teddy's killed a man!
Martha : Nonsens, dear.
[Mortimer rises and points the window-seat.]
Mortimer : There's a body in thee window-seat!
Abby : Yes, dear, we know.
[Mortimer takes as Abby and Martha busy themself again at the table]
Mortimer : You Know?
Martha : Of course, dear, but it has nothing to to with Teddy.

Abby : Teddy, [Tedy stops on landing] good news for you. You're going to Panama and dig another lock for the canal.
Teddy : Dee-lighted! That's bully! Juste Bully! I shall prepare at once for the journey! [He turns to go upstairs, stops as if puzzled, burries back to landing, cries CHARGE! and rushes up and off.]
Martha [elated] while I was out?
Abby [taking Martha's hand]. Yes Dear, I just could'nt wait for you. I didn't know when you'd be back, and Dr Harper has coming.
Martha : But all by yourself?
Abby : Oh, I got along fine!

He used the house here as a sort of clinic and tried'em out on people.
Klein : I hear he uses to make mistakes occasionally too.
Brophy : The deparment never brocheted him much because he was pretty usedful on autopsies sometimes. Especially poisoned cases.
Klein : Well whatever he did, he left his daughters fixed for life. Thank good for that.

Abby : the theatre! Oh no Mr Harpper! Mortimer write for a New Yorker newspaper.
Harper : I know Miss Abby. But a dramatic critic is constantly exposed to the theater, and I don't doubt ut what some of them to develop an interest in it.
Abby : Well, not Mortimer, you need have no fear of that. Why, Mortimer hates the theater.
Harpper : Really?

Abby : Yes dear, What is it? Where Elaine?
Mortimer : I thought you promised me not to let anyone in this house while I was gone !
[The following speechees overlap]
Abby ; Well Jonathan just walk in.-
Mortimer : I don't mean Jonathan.-
Abby : And Dr Einstein was with him.-
Mortimer : I don"t mean Dr Einstein. Who' that in the windowseat?
Abby : We told you, Mr Hoskin.
[Mortimer thows open the window(seat and steps back U.L.]
Mortimer : This is not Mr Hoskin!
{Abby, a little puzzled, walks to the window-seat and looking at D.S. and the speak very simply.]
Abby Who can that be?
Motimer [R. of Abby] Are you trying to tell me yoou never seen this man before ?
Abby : Certainly I am.

Jonathan [Takes a menacing step toward Abby. Then decides to try the "charm" again.] Aunt Abby, I can't say that you feelling towards me came as a suprise. I spent a great many hours regretings the many heartaches I must have given you as a boy.
Abby : You were quite en trial to us, Jonathan.
Jonathan : But my geat desapointement is for Dr Einstein. [Einstein is a little surprised.] I promised him as no matter how rush we were in passing trough Brooklyn, I'd take the time to bring him here for one of Aunt Martha
home-cooked dinners.

This is the house of my house. As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape from this place, now I'm glade to escape back into it.
Einstein [Shutting door, his back to aunts.] Yah Chonny it's a fine hideout.
Jonatan : The familly must still live here. There's something to unmistakingly Brewster about the Brewsters. I hope there's a fatted calf awating to the return of the prodigal.
Einstein : Yah, I'm hungry.

There is something sinister about the man- Something that bring a slight chill in is presence. It is in his walk, his bearing, his stange ressemblance with Boris Karloff. From the land-strair, Abby and Martha watch him, almost afraid to speak.

Elaine : But I 've got to know what's happened. Vertainly you can tell me.
Mortimer : Oh dear, I can't.
Elaine : But we're going to be married -
Mortimer : Married ?
Elaine : Have you forgottent that not fifty minutes ago, you proposed to me?
Mortimer : [vaguely] I did ? Oh-- Yes. Well as far as I know,that's still on. [Urging ber R. again] Now, you run along home, Elaine. I've got to do some thing.

He dropped dead right in that chair! How arfull for you!
Martha : Oh no dear. Why, it was rather like old time. Your grandfather always used to have a cadaver or two around the house. You see, Teddy has been diging to Panama and he thouugh that Mr. Midgely was a Yelow fever victim.

Martha [stepping to him] Oh yes dear, that's what we did with the others.
Mortimer [walking away to R.] No you can't bury Mr- [Double take. Turns back to them. ] Others?
Abby : The others gentlemen.
Mortimer : When you say others you mean others ?
Martha : Oh yes dear. Let me see, this is eleven. [To Abby U.L. of table]. Isn't it Abby?
Abby : No dear, this is twelve.

Mortimer : Do you put it in the wine ?
Abby : Yes, and I put Mr Hodschkins in the window seat because Dr Harper was coming!
Mortimer : So you knew what you have done! You didn't want Mr Harper to see the body!
Abby : Well, not at tea!-It wouldn't have been very nice. Now Mortimer, you know the whole think, just forget about it. I do think that Martha and I have the right to our own littles secrets

Teddy : Hello Mortimer!
Mortimer [gravely] How are you Mr President ?
Teddy : Bully, thank you, juste bully! What's the news you brought me?
Moritmer : Just this, Mr Président - the country is squarely behind you
Teddy [beaming] Yes I know. Isn't it wonderful ? [He shakes Mortimer's hand again.] Well good bye. [He crosses to Elain and shakes hands with her. ] Good Bye. [He goes to cellar door.]
Elain : Where are you off to Teddy ?
Teddy : Panama. [ He exits trought cellar door, shutting it. Elain look at Mortimer, inquiringly.]
Mortimer : Panama's the cellar. He digs locks for the canal down there.

Harper : The Blockhouse?
Martha : The Stairs are always San Juan Hill.
Harper : Have your ever persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Rosevelt ?
Abby : Oh no!
Martha: He's so happy being Teddy Roosewelt.
Abby : Once, a long time ago - [she crosses below to Martha] remember, Martha ? We thought he would be George Washington- it might be a change for him-
Martha : But he stayed under his bed for days and just wouldn'nt to be anybody.
Abby : And we so much rather he'd be Mr Roosevelt that nobody.

Broppy : [Stepping US... remonstrating ] Colonel, you promised not to do that.
Teddy : I have to call a cabinet meeting to get the release of those supplies. [Teddy wheels and exits.]
Brophy : He used to do that in the middle of the night. The neigbourg raise claims with us. They're a little afraid of him, aniway.
Harper : oh he's quite harmless.

[Teddy has reached first landing on strairs where he stopes and draw an imaginary sword.]
Teddy : Charge! [He charges up stairs and exits off the balcony. The others paid no attention to this.]
Brophy : Oh she's better now. A little weak still-

[the cops cross to Teddy who is standing near desk, and salute him. Teddy returns salute.]
Teddy : What news have you brough me?
Brophy : Colonel, we have nothing to report.
Teddy : Splendid! Thank you gentlemen! At Ease!