Matthew McIntosh

Si j'essaye d'expliquer mon inquiétude , je peut dire qu'elle repose sur la peur d'attendre tellement longtemps que je ne saurais plus ce que j’attends. Tu vois ce que je veut dire ? Tu te dit qu'à force , tu oublieras même que tu attend .Exemple tu te lève , tu parts bosser , tu rentres , tu te mets devant la télé. Ou t'allumes la radio . Tout d'un coup, tu baisses le son :attends , ta le sentiment d'avoir oublié quelque chose . Tu te poses des questions , ça t'intrigue , c'est quoi ce truc? Puis tu laisses tomber , Tu remets le son , Tu te dit que ça doit être un truc au boulot - un truc trivial.Pas important . Bon laisse tomber. Mais ce moment en vérité - voilà ce qui me fait flipper si j'y pense sérieusement-, correspond à l'instant précis ou tu oublies que tu attends quelque chose . Et alors sans t'en rendre compte tu pers espoir.

If I had to try and make some sense out of it I guess I would have to say I worry I'm going to be waiting so long I'll forget what I'm waiting for. Does that make sense? You worry you'll forget what you're waiting for and then you worry one day you'll forget that you are waiting for anything at all. Maybe you'll get up one day and go to work, and after work you'll come home and sit down in front of the TV, for instance. Or the radio or whatever. And you turn the volume down because all of a sudden you have the sense that something's slipped your mind. And you sit there and wonder about it for awhile, your interest is piqued, you know there's something... there's something, but what is it? And finally, you just shake it off. You turn the volume back up. You figure you must have just left something at work or forgot to pick something up from the grocery store, or something like that–something trivial. Surely nothing important. So you shake it off. But what it is–what it really is–and this is the part that gets to me when I start thinking about it–what it really is is this is the exact moment in your life that you've forgotten you're waiting for something.

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD: The trick, he said, is to refuse to believe that any of this makes sense. Because when it does–when the world and life and the way things are make sense–then you know there's really something wrong with you.