Beautiful Disaster

Travis hesited. « I can't shake this feeling, » he said under his breath.
« What do you mean ? Like a bad feeling ? » I said, suddenly nervous.
He turned to me with concern in his eyes. « I have this crazy feeling that once we get home, I'm going to wake up. Like none of this was real. »
I slid my arms around his waist, running my hands up the lean muscles of his back. « Is that what you're worried about ? »
He looked down to his wrist and then glanced at the thick silver band on his left finger. « I just can't shake the feeling that the bubble's going to burst, and I'm going to be lying in my bed, alone, wishing you were there with me. »
« I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Trav ! I've dumped someone for you – twice – I've picked up and gone Vegas with you – twice – I've literally gone through hell and back, married you, and branded myself with you name. I'm running out of ideas to prove to you that I'm yours. »
A small smile graced his lips. « I love it when you say that. »
« That I'm yours ? » I asked. I leaned up on the balls of my feet, pressing my lips against his. « I. Am. Yours. Mrs.Travis Maddox. Forever and always. »

I looked down as he placed the small velvet square on his chest, reaching behind him to rest his head on his arm.
« What's that ? » I asked.
« What does it look like ? »
« Okay. Let me rephrase my question : When did you get that ? »
Travis inhaled, and he did, the box rose with his chest and fell when he pushed the air from his lungs. « A while ago. »
« Trav... »
« I just happened to see it one day, and I knew there was only one place it could belong... on your little perfect little finger. »
« One day when ? »
« Does it matter ? he rebutted. He squirmed a bit, and I couldn't help but laugh.
« Can I see it ? » I smiled, suddenly feeling a bit giddy.
His smile matched mine, and he looked to the box. « Open it. »
I touched it with one finger, feeling the lush velvet under my fingertip. I grasped the golden seal with both hands, slowly pulling the lid open. A glimmer caught my eye and I slammed the lid shut.
« Travis ! » I wailed.
« I knew you'd freak out ! » he said, sitting up and cupping his hands over mine.
I could feel the box pressing against both oh my palms, feeling like a prickly grenade that could detonate at any moment. I closed my eyes and shook my head. « Are you insane ? »
« I know. I know what you're thinking, but I had to. It was the One. And I was right ! I haven't seen once since that was as perfect as this one !»
My eyes popped open and instead of the anxious pair of brown eyes I expected, he was beaming with pride. He gently peeled my hands from the case and pulled the lid open, pulling the ring from the tiny slit that held it in place. The large, round diamond glittered even in the dim light, catching the moonlight in every facet.
« It's... my God, it's amazing, » I whispered as he took my left hand in his.
« Can I put it on your finger ? » he asked, peering up at me. When I nodded, he pressed his lips together, sliding the silver band over my knuckle, holding it in place for a moment before letting go. « Now it's amazing. »
We both stared at my hand for a moment, equally shocked at the contrast of the large diamond sitting atop my small, slender finger. The band spanned the bottom of my finger, splitting in two on each side as it reached the solitaire, smaller diamonds lining each sliver of white gold.
« You could have put a down payment on a car for this, » I said under my breath, unable to put any strenght behind my voice.
My eyes followed my hand as Travis brought it up to his lips. « I've imagined what this would look like on your hand a million times. Now that it's here... »
« What ? » I smiled, watching him stare at my hand with an emotional grin. He looked up at me. « I thought I was going to have to swear five years before I'd feel like this. »
« I wanted it as much as you did. I've just got a hell of a poker face, » I said, pressing my lips against his.

He nodded slowly, hopeful. « You're going to marry me tomorrow ? »
I smiled. « Uh-huh. »
« You're serious ? »
« Yep. »
« I fucking love you ! » He grabbed each side of my face, slamming his lips against mine. «  I love you so much, Pigeon. » he said , kissing me over and over.
« Just remember that in fifty years when I'm still kicking your ass in poker, » I giggled.
He smiled, triumphant. « If it means sixty or seventy years with you, baby... you have my full permission to do your worst. »
I raised one eyebrow. « You're gonna regret that. »
« I bet I won't. »
I smiled with as much deviance as I could muster.
« Are you confident enough to bet that shiny bike outside ? »
He shook his head, a serious expression replacing the teasing smile he had just seconds before. « I'll put in everything I have. I don't regret a single second with you, Pidge, and I never will. »
I held out my hand and he took it without hesitation, shaking it nice and then bringing it to his mouth, pressing his lips tenderly against my knuckles. The room was quiet, his lips leaving my skin and the air escaping his lungs the only sound.
« Abby Maddow... » he said, his smile beaming in the moonlight.

« I don't get scared very often, » he said finally. « I was scared the first morning I woke up and you weren't here. I was scared when you left me after Vegas. I was scared when I thought I was going to have to tell my dad that Trent had died in that building. But when I saw you across the flames in that basement... I was terrified. I made it to the door, was a few feet from the exit, and I couldn't leave. »
« What do you mean ? Are you crazy ? » I said, my head jerking up to look into his eyes.
« I've never been so clear about anything in my life. I turning around, made my way to that room you were in, and there you were. Nothing else mattered. I didn't even know if we would make it out or not, I just wanted to be where you were, whatever that meant. The only thing I'm afraid of is a life without you, Pigeon. »
I leaned up, kissing his lips tenderly. When our mouths parted, I smiled. « Then you have nothing to be afraid of. We're forever. »
He sighed. « I'd do it all over again, you know. I wouldn't trade one second if it meant we were right here in this moment. »
My eyes felt heavy, and I took a deep breath. My lungs protested, still burning from the smoke. I coughed a bit and then relaxed, feeling Travis's warm lips against my forehead. His hands glided over my damp hair, and I could hear his heart beating steady in his chest.
« This is it, » he said with a sigh.
« What ? »
« The moment. When I watch you sleeping... that peace on your face ? This is it. I haven't had it since before my mom died, but I can feel it again. » He took another deep breath, and pulled me closer. « I knew the second I met you that there were something about you I needed. Turns out it wasn't something about you at all. It was just you. »
The corner of my mouth turned up as I buried my face into his chest. « It's us, Trav. Nothing makes sense unless we're together. Have you noticed that ? »
« Noticed ? I've been telling you that all year ! » he teased. « It's official. Bimbos, fights, leaving, Parker, Vegas... even fires... our relationship an with-stand anything ».
I lifted my head up once more, noticing the contentment in his eyes as he looked at me. It was similar to the peace I had seen on his face after I lost the bet to stay with him in the apartment, after I told him I loved him for the first time, and the morning after the Valentine's dance. It was similar, but different. This was absolute – permanent. The cautious hope had vanished from his eyes, unqualified trust taking its place.
I recognized it only because his eyes mirrored what I was feeling.
« Vegas ? » I asked.
His brow furrowed, unsure of where I was headed. « Yeah ? »
« Have you thought about going back ? »
His eyebrows shot up. « I don't think that's a good idea for me. »
« What if we just went for a night ? »
He looked around the dark room, confused. « A night ? »
« Marry me, » I said without hesitation. I was surprised at how quickly and easily the words came.

I belonged to him.
It was then that I knew. Without a doubt in my mind, without worry of what others would think, and having no fear of mistakes or consequences.

« When you're not there, I can't concentrate, I'm wondering where you are, what you're doing... if you're there and I can see you, I can focus. I know it's crazy, but that's how it is. »

I kissed him, touching the sides of his face with tenderness. « Yes, dummy. I promised, didn't I ? I told you everything you wanted to hear, we're back together, and you're still not happy ? »
His face compressed around his smile.
« Travis, stop. I love you. » I said, smoothing the worried lines around his eyes. « This absurd standoff could have been over at Thanksgiving, but... »
« Wait... what ? » he interrupted, leaning back.
« I was fully prepared to give in on Thanksgiving, but you said you were done trying to make me happy, and I was too proud to tell you that I wanted you back. »
« Are you fucking kidding me ? I was just trying to make it easier on you ! Do you know how miserable I've been ? »
I frowned. « You looked just fine after break. »
« That was for you ! I was afraid I'd lose you if I didn't pretend to be okay with just being friends. I could have been with you this whole time ? What the fuck, Pigeon ? »
« I... » I couldn't argue ; he was right. I had made us both suffer, and I had no excuse. « I'm sorry. »
« You're sorry ? I damn near drank myself to death, I could barely get ouf of bed, I shattered my phone into a million of pieces on New Year's Eve to keep from calling you... and you're sorry ? »
I bit my lip and nodded, ashamed. I had no idea what he'd been through, and hearing him say the words made a sharp pain twist inside my chest. « I'm so... so sorry. »
« You're forgiven, » he said with a grin. « Don't ever do it again. »
« I won't. I promise. »
He flashed his dimple and shook his head. « I fucking love you. »

The way we couldn't seem to stay away from each other was unexplicable, but I didn't need an explanation anymore. I didn't even need an excuse. In that moment, I only needed him.
« I want you. »
« I need you to say it, » he said.
My insides were screaming for him and I couldn't stand it a second longer. « I'll say whatever you want. »
« Then say that you belong to me. Say that you'll take me back. I won't do this unless we're together. »
« We're never really been apart, have we ? » I asked, hoping it was enough.
He shook his head, his lips sweeping across mine.
« I need to hear you say it. I need to know you're mine. »
« I've been yours since the second we met. »
My voice took the tone of begging. Any other time I would have been embarrassed, but I was beyond regret. I had fought my feelings, guarded them, and bottled them up. I had experienced the happiest moment of my life while at Eastern, all of them with Travis. Fighting, laughing, loving or crying, if it was with him, I was where I wanted to be.
One side of his mouth turned up as he touched my face, and then his lips touched mine in a tender kiss. When I pulled him against me ; he didn't resist. His muscles tensed, and he held his breath as he slid inside me.
« Say it again, » he said.
« I'm yours. » I breathed. Every nerve, inside and out, ached for more. « I don't ever want to be apart from you again. »
« Promise me, » he said, groaning with another thrust.
« I love you. I'll love you forever. » The words were more of a sigh, but I met his eyes when I said them I could see the uncertainty in his eyes vanish, and even in the dim light, his face brightened.
Finally satisfied, he sealed his mouth over mine.

He struggled to unlock the door as I kicked and waved my arms, trying to get away. « Knock it off, Pidge, or we're going to fall down the stairs ! » Once he opened the door, he stomped into Shepley's room.
« Put. Me. Down ! » I screamed.
« Fine, » he said, dropping me onto Shepley's bed. « Sleep it off. We'll talk in the morning. »
The room was dark ; the only light a rectangular beam shooting into the doorway from the hall. I fought to focus through the darkness, beer, and anger, and when he turned into the light, it illuminated his smug smile.
I pounded the mattress with my fists. « You can't tell me what to do anymore, Travis ! I don't belong to you ! »
In the second it took him to turn and face me, his expression had contorted into anger. He stomped toward me, planting his hands on the bed and leaning into my face.
« WELL, I BELONG TO YOU ! » The veins in his neck bulged as he shouted, and I met his glare, refusing to even flinch. He looked at my lips, panting.
« I belong to you, » he whispered, his anger melting as he realized how close we were.
Before I could think of a reason not to, I grabbed his face, slamming my lips against his. Without hesitation, Travis lifted me into his arms. In a few long strides, he carried me into his bedroom, both of us crashing to the bed.

Travis staggered backward, the hurt plainly displayed in his eyes. « A toast ! » he yelled.
I flinched, turning just in time to see him climbing onto a chair, stealing a beer from the shocked Sig Tau brother closest to him. I glanced to America, who watched Travis with a pained expression.
« To douchebags ! » he said, gesturing to Brad. « And to girls that break your heart, » he bowed his head to me. His eyes lost focus. « And to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her. »
He tilted back the beer, finishing what was left, and then tossed it to the floor. The room was silent except for the music playing in the lower level, and everyone stared at Travis in mass confusion.