MsKingBean89

-Was it scary ? Was I scary ?
-No, you were beautiful.

Oh god, he thought, grimly. I fancy Sirius Black.

This was no great thing for them – James and Sirius treated it as any other afternoon; the hospital bed was just an extension of their dorm. For Remus it was everything – it was time that would otherwise be spent anxious and alone. It was the closest thing to family he could imagine.

Born that way.” James shrugged, mirroring Remus’s grin. “Come here, tosser.” He pulled him in for a hug. Remus relaxed, finally. All was well.

At that moment, the door swung open once more, and Sirius sauntered into the room, closely followed by Peter.

“Oi!” Sirius barked, pointing at James, “Hands off my man.”

31st July 1980

“Remus, wake up!” Sirius shook him hard.

“Piss off.” Remus grunted, covering his head with the duvet, “S’the middle of the night.”

“Who cares?! Come on, it’s time! Baby Prongs is on his way - or her way… their way!”

“What?!” Remus sat bolt upright in bed, “Fuck!”

“That’s the spirit!” Sirius cheered, “Get dressed!”

Anything for our moony

“Tell me a secret? A nice one?”

Remus paused. He kissed Sirius’s hair.

“I’m mental about you, too.”

He picked up a glass with about two inches of golden brown coloured liquid in it, raising it, “To our beloved Moony - inventor of the marauders map, architect of our greatest pranks, completer of our overdue homework…”

“To Moony,” The other two smirked. Remus looked at the band, too embarrassed to respond.

Anyway,” he lowered his voice, in case Madam Pomfrey was lurking nearby, “The whole point of having a nickname was so no one knew who wrote the map. I don’t think ‘Remu’ is going to fool anyone.”

“He’s got a point, there.” James said, wisely, “As much fun as it’s been.”

“Fair enough,” Sirius heaved a sigh, “But can we call you Remu until we come up with something better?”

“No.

Remus was stalwartly ignoring this behaviour – he knew that Sirius was pronouncing the incantation all wrong, with the emphasis in the wrong place – but he wasn’t going to tell him, because he wasn’t sure exactly why Sirius wanted a tentacle arm so badly, and it couldn’t be for any good reason.

Lily winked at Remus as they raised their goblets, and he hoped that nothing would ever change.

He had to read, because if he didn’t, he would have nothing to do at all, except think about his fresh scars.

Remus had seen plenty of boys at St Edmund’s trying to push their limits like that – the problem was, some limits weren’t fences. Sometimes they were edges; with nothing on the other side.

He wished he wasn’t always the one left out, he wished he knew how it felt to have a friend as close as James. More than ever, he wanted someone to talk to.

Sirius kissed him, full on the mouth again. They both knew they had crossed a line, but it couldn’t be helped now, and it was so, so good, and their bodies were hard against each other, hands fumbling with belt buckles, as if they’d known this was the plan all along.

“Billy rapped all night about his suicide,

How he’d kick it in the head when he was twenty-five,

Speed jive, don’t wanna stay alive, when you’re twenty five…”

“Turn it up!” Mary nudged Marlene, who flicked her wand at the wireless, lazily, then cracked open another can. They all hushed to listen, nodding along and tapping their feet softly on the grass. When the chorus came, the girls all sang along in that soft, under the breath way that girls were so good at,

“All the young dudes, carry the news…”

When the song finished they cheered drunkenly, laughing amongst themselves.

“I bloody love you lot,” Marlene slurred, “You’re all my best friends,”

“Same to you, McKinnon,” Sirius grinned across the flames, raising his can.

“Shhh!” She waggled a drunken finger at him, dopily, “I know your game, Black. I’ll have you know, you’re not my type.”

Everybody laughed at that, even Sirius.

Sirius risked reaching out, grasping Remus’s hand and holding it. Remus squeezed back.

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of you, or this, it’s… a million other things. I wish I could tell everyone, I wish I was ready. I will be, Moony, I promise.”

Tell me a secret? A nice one?”

Remus paused. He kissed Sirius’s hair.

“I’m mental about you, too.

What did Remus Lupin have to be angry about? What had he to worry about? His heart swelled, and he was reminded of something Sirius had told him a few months ago. Love was something you did , not something you said; and every one of these people had proved that to him.

“But I want you,” Sirius said, desperately.

That struck Remus in an unusual way. To anyone else, it might have sounded whinging; childish. After all, Sirius was a grown man, and Remus had important work to do. But somehow it dislodged a feeling Remus hadn’t had for Sirius in a long time - a desire to protect him. To hold him close and tell him everything was going to be ok, and to be strong and reliable for the man he loved.