The Ballad of Dingus Magee

“Ah, Doc, you know Hoke – he couldn’t hit nobody if’n he was shooting smack-bang down a stone well. Matter of fact he missed Turkey so bad tonight, durned if’n he dint go and –“
“Sit a spell,” the doctor said, glancing across his shoulder. “You look a mite peaked yourself.”
“Don’t reckon I can,” Dingus said.
“Can’t what?”
“Can’t sit,” Dingus said. “What I been trying to tell you, about how Hoke ain’t never gonter murder nobody. Shucks, he were aiming at Turkey all the while, but durned if’n the old blind mule-sniffer dint go and plink me square in the ass –“