Hannah Cowan

I’ve learned that the bad doesn’t necessarily disappear once you’ve become accustomed to the good, but it sure does help drown it out. Still, there are times when the darkness shadows the light, and you fall back into the pit of despair that you’ve only recently climbed out of. For me, that happens when I’m the happiest, when I’m full of so much love, pride, and excitement that the fear of losing everything becomes a weight too heavy to bear, forcing me back into my protective shell.

I used to wonder what it would be like to know my biological parents. Would I love them simply because we share DNA? Is it an automatic response, or does that type of love have to be earned? Did they ever love me like I wanted them to?

It's her eyes that I ached to forget more than anything. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have spent years keeping myself up at night because every time I closed my eyes, it was hers I saw.

I’ve enjoyed just being a normal person with you. I haven’t been missing checking my social media a million times a day and posting photos that I don’t really care about. I’ve just been Addie the person with you, not Adalyn Hutton the social figure.

That’s for you. It’s been like that for years, but you never gave me the chance to tell you

In case you were wondering, my soul feels a lot better after seeing you.