Beautiful Disaster

« That's why you said I wouldn't miss you after today ! You knew I'd find out about you and Parker, and you thought I'd just... what ? Get over you ? Do you not trust me, or am I just not good enough ? Tell me, damn it ! Tell me what the fuck I did to you to make you do this ! »
I stood my ground, staring straight into his eyes.
« You didn't do anything to me. Since when is sex so life or death to you ? »
« Since it was with you ! »

« You're going to break his heart, Abby. You're going to break his heart ! The one girl he trusts enough to fall for, and you're going to nail him to the wall ! »

« He's gone fucking nuts ! I heard him call your name, and then he stomped all over the apartment looking for you. He barged into Shep's room, demanding to know where you were. Then he tried to call you. Over and over and over, » she sighed. « His face was... Jesus, Abby. I've never seen him like that. He ripped his sheets off the bed, and threw them away, threw his pillows away, shattered his mirror with his fist, kicked his door... broke it from the hinges ! It was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life ! »
I closed my eyes, forcing the tears that had polled in my eyes down my cheeks.

I had spent thirty days in a cramped apartment with Eastern's most infamous tramp, and after the bickering and late-night houseguests, it was the only place I wanted to be.

« You never could handle goodbyes. »

My eyes snapped shut with the thought of his expression when he learned that what had happened between us wasn't a beginning, it was closure. I couldn't go down that road, and he would hate me when I told him

« You're going to realize what a pain in the ass I was, and then you'll forget all about missing me, » I said into his ear.
He puffed a breath of air as he rubbed my back. « Promise ? »
I leaned back and looked into his eyes, touching each side of his face with my hands. I caressed his jaw with my thumb ; his expression was heartbreaking. I closed my eyes and leaned down to kiss the corner of his mouth, but he turned so that I caught more in his lips than I'd intented. Even though the kiss surprised me, I didn't pull back right away. Travis kept his lips on mine, but he didn't take it any further.

« Who would have thought from the first time we met that we'd be sitting here ? You couldn't have told me three months ago that I'd be this miserable over saying goodbye to a girl. »
My stomach sank. « I don't want you to be miserable. »
« Then don't go, » he said. His expression was so desperate that the guilt formed a lump in my throat.
« I can't move in here, Travis. That's crazy. »
« Says who ? I just had the best two weeks of my life. »
« Me too. »
« Then why do I feel like I'm never gonna see you again ? »
I didn't have reply.

« I don't know what happened with you and Travis. It's none of my business... you and I have only been on a handful of dates. I was upset at first, but then I realize that it wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't have feelings for you. »
« I didn't sleep with him, Parker. He held my hair while I hurled a pint of Patron in his toilet. That's as romantic as it got. »
He laughed once. « I don't think we've really gotten a fair shot... not with you living with Travis. The truth is, Abby, I like you. I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to stop thinking about you. » I smiled and he took my hand, running his fingers over my bracelet. « I probably scared you off with this ridiculous present, but I've never been in this situation before. I feel like I'm constantly competing with Travis for your attention. »

Whatever was going on with him, he needed me near him, and I couldn't have objected even if I'd wanted to. If felt right lying next to him.