Beautiful Disaster

I had seen it before. Vegas changed people, creating monsters and broken men. It was easy to let the lights and stolen dreams seep into your blood. I had seen the energized, invincible look on Travis's face many times growing up, and the only cure was a plane ride home.

He was afraid of nothing. Until he'd met me.
I was the one part of his life that was unknown, the wild card, the variable he couldn't control. Regardless of the moments of peace I had given him, in every other moment of every other day, the turmoil he felt without me was made ten times worse in my presence. The anger that took hold of him before was only harder for him to manage. Being the exception was no longer a mysterious, special thing. I had become his weakness. Just as I was to my father.

I had experienced insecurity : those living one stroke of bad luck to another, men who were afraid of their own shadow. It was easy to be afraid of the dark side of Vegas, the side the neon and glitter never seemed to touch. But Travis Maddox wasn't afraid to fight or to defend someone he cared about or to look into the humiliated and angry eyes of a scorned woman. He could walk into a room and stare down someone twice his size, believing that no one could touch him – that he was invincible to anyting that tried to make him fall. He was afraid of nothing. Until he'd met me.
I was the one part of his life that was unknown, the wild card, the variable he couldn't control. Regardless of the moments of peace I had given him, in every other moment of every other day, the turmoil he felt without me was made ten times worse in my presence. The anger that took hold of him before was only harder for him to manage. Being the exception was no longer a mysterious, special thing. I had become his weakness. Just as I was to my father.

« I guess it's kinda cool... being with the girl everyone wants. »
I rolled my eyes. « They don't want me. They're curious why you want me. And anyway, I feel sorry for anyone that thinks they have a chance. I am hopelessly and completely in love with you. »
A pained look shadowed his face. « You know why I want you ? I didn't know what alone was until the first night I spent without you in my bed. You're the one thing I've got right. You're what I've been waiting for, Pigeon. »
I reached up to take his face between my hands and he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the floor. I pressed my lips against his, and he kissed me with the emotion of everything he'd just said. It was in that moment that I realized why he'd gotten the tattoo, why he had chosen me, and why I was different. It wasn't just me, and it wasn't just him, it was what we were together that was the exception

« I belong to my beloved, and my beloved is mine. »

He rock into me again, groaning so loudly that I covered his mouth. After a few labored breaths, he looked into my eyes and then kissed me over and over. His hands cupped each side of my face and then he kissed me again, slower, more tender. He touched his lips to mine, and then my cheeks, my forehead, my nose and then finally returned to my lips. I smiled and sighed, exhaustion setting in. Travis pulled me next to him, situating the covers over us. I rested my cheek against his chest, and he kissed my forehead once more, locking his fingers together behind me.
« Don't leave this time, okay ? I wanna wake up just like this in the morning. »
I kissed his chest, feeling guilty that he had to ask.
« I'm not going anywhere. »

« I know you deserve better than me. You think I don't know that ? But if there was any woman made for me... it's you. I'll do whatever I have to do, Pidge. Do you hear me ? I'll do anything. »

« I know we're fucked up, all right ? I'm impulsive and hot-tempered, and you get under my skin like no one else. You act like you hate mine one minute, and then you need me the next. I never get anything right, and I don't deserve you... but I fucking love you, Abby. I love you more than I've loved anyone or anything, ever. When you're around, I don't need booze or money or the fighting or the one-night stands... all I need is you. You're all I think about. You're all I dream about. You're all I want. »
My plan to feign ignorance was an epic fail. I couldn't pretend to be impervious when he had laid all of his cards on the table. When we met, something inside both of us had changed, and whatever that was, it made us need each other. For reasons unknown to me, I was his exception, and as much as I tried to fight my feelings, he was mine.
He shook his head, cupped each side of my face, and looked into my eyes. « Did you sleep with him ? »
Hot tears filled my eyes as I shook my head no. He slammed his lips against mine, and his tongue entered my mouth without hesitation. Unable to control myself, I gripped his shirt in my fists, and pulled him to me. He hummed in his amazing deep voice and gripped me so tight that it was difficult to breath.

« If you think I'm just going to go back to fucking around, you're wrong. I don't want anyone else. You wanna be friends ? Fine, we're friends. But you and I both know that what happened wasn't just sex. »

« Is that it ? You don't think it meant anything to me ? »
« You are Travis Maddox. »
He shook his head, disgusted. « If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were shoving my past in my face. »