Insaisissable, tome 4 : Crois en moi

"Its going to be okay," he whispers. "I swear."
"Liar," I sniff.
"Well, there's a fifty percent chance I'm right."
"Kenji?"
"mm?"
"If I find out you're lying to me about any of this I swear to God I will break all the bones in your body."
A short laugh. "Yeah, okay."

But now Warner's eyes are moving, studying me. He looks at me with such intensity I wonder if he's even aware he's doing it. I wonder if he knows that when he looks at me like that I can feel it as acutely as if his bare skin were pressed against my own, that it does things to me when he looks at me like that and it makes me crazy, because I hate that I can't control this, that this thread between us remains unbroken and he says finally, softly,
something
something I don't hear
because I'm looking at his lips and feeling my skin ignite with memories of him and it was just yesterday, just yesterday that he was mine, that I flet his mouth on my body, that I could feel him inside me...

"Its nice to finally meet Warner's girlfriend."
[...]
Juliette seems unimpressed.
"You can call me the supreme commander of North America," she says.
And then walk away.

At this, I laugh again. "Because I", I say, pointing at myself, "am a monster."
Kenji looks confused. "And how is that news to anyone?"
I smile. He's funny, I think. Funny guy.

"I can't breathe," I whisper.
"What do you mean, you can't breathe ? Did she shoot you again?"

So this -
This is agony.
This is what they talk about when they talk about heartbreak. I thought I knew what it was like before. I thought I knew, with perfect clarity, what it felt like to have my heart broken, but now- now I finally understand.
Before ? When Juliette couldn't decide between myself and Kent ? That pain ? That was child's play.
But this.
This is suffering. This is full, unadulterated torture. And I have no one to blame for this pain but myself, which makes it impossible to direct my anger anywhere but inward. If I weren't better informed, I'd think I were having an actual heart attack. It feels as though a truck has run over me, broken every bones in my chest, and now it's stuck here, the weight of it crushing my lungs. I can't breathe. I can't even see straight.

She climbs on top of me.
And I think I've lost my goddamned mind.

I love that the girl who blushes so easily in my arms is the same one who would kill a man for hurting me.

"Touch him one more time," Juliette says quitely, "and I will rip your heart out of your body."

She smiles at him, but there's no warmth in it. Only a warning. "Men," she says, "are always so baffled by women's clothing. So many opinions about a body that does not belong to them. Cover up, don't cover up" - she waves a hand - "no one can seem to decide."
"But - that's not what I -" Kenji tries to say.
"You know what I think," she says, still smiling, "about someone telling me what's legal and illegal about the way I dress?"
She holds up two middle fingers.