Le clan Bennett, tome 3 : Le chant du coeur

— Je peux sentir ton excitation. Je ne sais pas si je veux t’aider.

— Je ne suis pas excité !

— Si, si, fit Tanner. Tu t’es cogné la tête sur un objet inanimé à la seconde où tu as vu Kelly. Autrefois, Ox est rentré dans le mur là-bas, et ensuite, il s’est tapé Jessie.

— C’est ma sœur, siffla Chris, tournant la tête pour fusiller du regard Ox qui semblait ignorer résolument tout ce qui se passait.

— Je sais, confirma Tanner. Mais c’est vrai. Et ensuite, il est rentré dans le mur de la maison en voyant un Joe encore mineur dans son short minuscule. Et il a aussi fini par se le taper.

Je regardai Gordo d’un air suppliant.

Il secoua la tête avec vigueur.

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— Tu as regardé Mark avec des cœurs dans les yeux, l’accusa Tanner. Pendant des années.

— J’essayais de l’assassiner par la puissance de mon esprit, rétorqua Gordo. Je n’ai pas de cœurs dans les yeux. Je ne sais même pas de quoi tu parles.

— Il a raison, répliqua Chris. N’écoute pas les conseils de Gordo. Tu finiras bourru tout le temps jusqu’à être transformé par le pouvoir de l’amour.

— Je ne suis pas transformé…

— Mark a sur le cou un tatouage magique que tu lui as mis là pendant qu’il te pilonnait le derrière, le coupa Tanner. Et waouh, je n’aurais jamais cru devoir dire un truc comme ça à voix haute. On doit vraiment travailler sur nos limites dans cette meute. Nouvelle règle. On ne se mêle plus des affaires des autres et on ne reparle plus jamais de ce genre de truc.

A Sunday.

It started with Tradition.

We laughed a lot that day. There was food, more than even a pack of wolves could eat. And stories, so many stories, told by each member of the Bennett pack.

Elizabeth spoke of a dream she'd once had. Of her husband and how he brought her stone wolf back to her.

Joe told us about a time when it'd been just him and his father. He'd been little, sitting atop his father's shoulders as they wandered through the forest.

Rico regaled us all with a story of how he, Chris, and Tanner had gotten Gordo high for the first time when they were thirteen, and how all the lightbulbs in his house had burst at once. They'd chalked it up to a power surge at the time, but now he knew it was because Gordo had been talking about Mark in a disgustingly dreamy voice. We all laughed at that, even as Gordo glared at Rico.

Mark said how full his heart had been the first time he'd seen Gordo after the Bennetts returned to Green Creek, that even though Gordo was yelling at him to stay the hell away, Mark had wanted nothing more than to hug him and never let him go,

Chris and Tanner took turns, almost giggling, as they reminisced about when Jessie had first come to Green Creek and how Ox had acted like an idiot at the first sight of her, following her around like a creepy stalker.

Not to be outdone, Jessie reminded them of how the same would probably happen to them one day now that they were wolves that they would most likely succumb to the mystical moon magic. Chris and Tanner were outraged.

Gordo, on his third beer, seemed loose and easy when he said he never would have expected that he'd actually like having wolves around again. He had a goofy grin on his face, and he laughed without reservation when Mark tugged him close, his nose in Gordo's hair, beard scratching Gordo's check.

Carter spoke of seeing Joe for the first time after he was born, and how he told his mother he didn't think something so small and wrinkled and loud could ever be an Alpha. I didn't think he realized that his hand never left the timber wolf's head, rubbing between his ears.

And Kelly, always Kelly Kelly, who was only halfway into his first beer and yet was talking loudly and snorting in quiet laughter, even as Carter tried to get him to drink more. Kelly, whose eyes were wide and bright, Kelly who looked at me as if I were the moon itself, Kelly who said we were where we were supposed to be, with who we were supposed to be with. And seemingly without thinking about it, there, in front of everyone, he leaned forward and kissed me, a loud smacking thing that caused Rico and Tanner and Chris to hoot and holler, demanding we get a fucking room

I was dazed, my head spinning, my heart thundering in my chest. I tried to find the words to tell him, to tell them all, what this moment meant. What I thought we could be. That it almost didn't matter if I never remembered the life I'd once had because I knew I could make a new one out of the bones that remained.

"Don't. Don't you fucking do this. Get out of my head. Get out of my head!"

I didn't mean to do what happened next. It just happened.

One moment his eyes were wide and he was reaching for me, hand trembling, and the next he was gasping as I lashed at him, claws out. It was a shallow cut, two grooves on his forearm that immediately filled with blood. He pulled away quickly, eyes wide and shocked.

A coppery tang filled the air.

A loud roar come from across the street, but I didn't care. I reached for Kelly again.

And he flinched.

He was scared of me. The wound wasn't closing

Because he was human. Breakable and soft.

A red sheen fell over my vision.

I whirled toward the wall of memories that meant nothing to me.

There I was. Smiling and happy. Like I belonged.

And it was all a lie.

I howled in rage and began to tear the photographs off the wall. The frames and glass broke apart as I threw them on the floor. I barely noticed, only wanting to get rid of this goddamn imposter grinning at me mockingly

I gouged the wall with my claws, chunks of plaster landing on my bare feet. Glass cut into my soles, but I ignored it. I felt the squelch of blood with every step I took, the scent mingling in with Kelly's wound, and it drove me fucking crazy.

I saved the flyer for last.

HAVE YOU SEEN ME?

I tore it down.

— Ne. Le. Touche. Pas, gronda Gavin.

Puis il jeta son père aussi fort qu’il le put. Livingstone vola en arrière, et à l’instant où il toucha les restes d’une maison incendiée derrière lui, je vis son expression.

Trahison.

Il percuta la maison, des éclairs et des flammes s’élevant quand elle s’écroula.

Invraisemblablement, ridiculement, Carter chuchota, la bouche pleine de sang :

— Oh merde. Je crois que je suis bisexuel.

Avant que quelqu’un puisse réagir à ça, ou à ce nouveau loup-devenu-humain qui nous avait tous sauvés, les restes de la maison sur lesquels Livingstone avait atterri explosèrent, des débris sifflant autour de nous.

"Kelly?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

He gaped at me.

I waited nervously, forcing myself not to fidget or take the words back.

He grimaced. "Oh Christ. You're serious. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not hear what I sound like? Something must be wrong with your eyes too, because I'm leaking from almost every opening I have. And I can't even begin to imagine what I must smell like to you-"

I kissed him.

Again.

For the first time.

His eyes were open, and my eyes were open, and I was drowning in him, drowning in this, and I didn't want to be saved. I wanted it to close over my head and pull me down until all there was in this world was him.

It was chaste, this kiss. I saw a tear trickle from his right eye before I closed my own. I was about to pull away, sure I'd gone too far, when he wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, holding me in place. He sighed against my lips, and I wondered if this was happiness, if this clawing in my chest was how I felt when we'd done this before Because if it was, then I understood why Gordo had said I must have fought like hell. If someone had tried to take this away from me, the memory of him and the way he felt against me, I would have done everything in my power to fight back.